Heartbreak World
by breathing ashes
Summary: It stung like hell to utter the one word that was going to change everything in their seemingly perfect life. She was supposed to grow old with her husband. This hindered any chance of it. AU BJU.
1. Shattered

**AN: Hello! So I'm a little nervous about posting this as it's my first fic. I usually write more original stuff but I came up with this idea and here we are...I'd love to know what you think and if I should plan on continuing it. Thank you!**

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They say everything happens for a reason.

But the pamphlets scattered all over the bed gave her no answers. They all looked the same; badly sketched and off center with corny tips typed in an obnoxious font that looked tacky. No matter how many times she scoured through them, no hope came out of it whatsoever.

It was just supposed to be a scare.

She lay on the bed, biting back the tears that were almost begging to be set free. Just a few hours ago it felt like she had cried herself dry. How could there possibly be any tears left? Her birthday was supposed to be a celebration, not derailed by some inconsiderate object that decided to force its way into her life. The soft knock on the door broke her thoughts, making the jumbled thoughts scrambling in her brain come to a screeching halt. Seconds later, her husband of nearly seven years appeared looking mournful, a tiny sigh escaping his lips when he caught the sight of his beautiful wife in a mess of tears.

"How are you doing, babe?" Julian asked stupidly, biting down on his bottom lip when Brooke let out a strangled sob. He quickly made his way over to the bed and sat down next to her, folding her small body into his large arms. "Ssh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Brooke broke away, using the back of her hands to wipe the tears pouring down her face. She had to hold herself together. "It's okay," she repeated, grabbing Julian's hands for some sort of comfort. "I'll, I'll be okay."

Julian nodded and pressed his lips against Brooke's clammy forehead, letting them linger there for a few extra moments in hopes of bringing her some much needed comfort. She dropped her head on his shoulder, reveling in the soothing circles his hand was rubbing on her back.

"You gonna be okay for tomorrow?" he asked softly, brushing the hair out of her face.

"I have to be," Brooke shrugged, her voice cracking at the thought. "The kids are more excited about my birthday than I am. God knows what they have planned."

"You'll love it," Julian promised with a smile. "We can send them to your mother's in the morning if you want. If you, uh, if you want to be alone."

"No," Brooke was quick to disagree. "They'll make me feel better."

After a few failed attempts of trying to get pregnant, the couple was finally graced with what was expected to be a single pregnancy. Their assumption was quickly disproved when they went for an ultrasound and found out they were expecting triplets. It was hard to swallow at first, but over the months, Brooke found herself enamored with her impending motherhood. Julian, while nervous and jittery through the whole process, seemed to calm down once he met his children.

After years of heartbreak, their little family was complete. With two girls and a boy, everything seemed perfect.

Lily, their eldest daughter, came first. She was Brooke's mini-me. With light blonde hair and dime-sized dimples, Lily ruled the house. Julian was wrapped around her little finger. She was the boss, plain and simple. She was a social butterfly and found herself with many young friends in kindergarten.

Then, there was Max. He was shy and sensitive, very much a momma's boy. Brooke adored her little boy and the mop of brown curls he had atop his head. He loved his father as well but Julian couldn't even compete with Brooke. Max followed her around wherever she went, even tagging along as his mother's little helper when she went on dress fittings and had runway shows. He couldn't stand being away from her.

Olivia came last and very much filled her role as the baby. She was fairly smaller than her brother and sister, a little cherub who got whatever she wanted. Both her parents doted on her quite often, a little fact she liked to rub in her sibling's face. Max and Olivia were the two closest as they were a lot alike.

"I just wish this could have waited," Brooke admitted angrily. "Actually, If I'm wishing for things I wish this wouldn't have happened. I'm too young for this, Julian!"

"I know," Julian agreed, feeling helpless. All he could do was hold Brooke in his arms and whisper comforting words into her ear. "We'll get through it, Brooke. We will."

Brooke wanted to believe him. She really did. Her life was only turned upside down a mere three hours ago. Now, she had to pretend everything was okay as she celebrated her birthday with her young children and friends.

Would it be her last?

"On Monday we'll get a second opinion," Julian tried, scooping all the pamphlets off the bed to stuff in the bedside table. He just prayed to God his kids decided to snoop elsewhere for the time being. They were getting pretty good at reading. "I can make a few phone calls, you know? We'll talk to your mom…see if she can help."

"I just want to go to sleep," Brooke whispered, feeling like a small child when Julian nodded and pulled the covers down, helping her in. "Just don't leave me. Please?"

Julian slid in next to her, his arm draping around her small waist. "I'm right here, Brooke. I'm not going anywhere," he said, trying to keep his composure when they heard a slightly muffled scream. "Shit."

Brooke knew right away it was Max. It was always Max.

"I'll get him," Julian sighed, clambering out of the bed as carefully as possible.

"No," Brooke pulled on his arm, sitting herself up. "I'll go."

"Brooke, you need some rest," Julian protested, trying to force his wife back into the bed.

Always defiant, the brunette shook her head and broke free. "He wants me."

"I know, but I'll tell him you're not feeling well…"

Julian knew Max preferred Brooke over him but it would not bode well for the little boy if he saw his beautiful mother looking frail and distraught. Her eyes were all puffy and bloodshot, brown hair sticking out every which way.

But without another word, he motioned for her to go. Perhaps it would be good. Brooke had holed herself up in their master bedroom for hours before coming out to tell him the ill-fating news. Only a few weeks had passed since the night Brooke dropped the bomb.

Brooke let out a sigh and gently pushed Max's slightly ajar door open, a smile spreading across her face as she stepped into her son's room. From the small night-light illuminating the room, Brooke could see Max clutching his blanket tightly, the brightly colored comforter pulled up to his chin. She took a seat on the side of his bed and brushed the curls out his face.

"Hi, baby," Brooke tried to greet cheerfully. But her voice came out raspier than normal.

Max was unfazed at how disheveled his mother looked. "Hi, momma."

"What's wrong?" Brooke asked, letting out a genuine laugh as Max whimpered and hid his face with the ratty blanket he never slept without. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"Yeah," Max nodded sadly, a bit embarrassed. "I'm sorry, momma. I tried to be a big boy and go back to sleep."

"Don't worry, Maxie," Brooke told him, biting back the yawn rising in her throat. It was nearly one am and she knew the girls would be up at the crack of dawn. "Do you want to come sleep with me and daddy?

Max nodded frantically and kicked the covers off him. He held out his arms and squealed in delight when Brooke scooped him up and peppered his face with kisses. She held him tight, inhaling the soft scent of his shampoo when he buried his face into her shoulder. The walk to her room was short but she took her time, rubbing Max's back so that he'd sleep faster once she put him down. She could feel his heart beating against her own, struggling to contain the tears. He was so small in her arms and it frightened her that somewhere down the line she wasn't going to be able to hold him or his sisters.

How was she going to explain this to them?

"I love you, momma," Max whispered into her ear, placing a quick kiss on her cheek.

"I love you, too, Maxie," Brooke squeezed him, letting the one stubborn tear roll down her cheek. "I love you, too."

She had to savor these moments now.

--

Brooke awoke the next morning feeling a weight climb on top of her. She cracked one eye open to see Olivia sitting on her stomach with a wide smile.

"Happy birthday, mommy!" she said in excitement, bouncing up and down.

"Thank you," Brooke told her groggily, kissing the top of Olivia's head when she leaned down to hug her neck. She ran her fingers through her daughter's long hair, holding her tight when she felt like she was pulling away. "What are you doing up so early?"

"Me and daddy and Lily are making you pancakes!" Olivia beamed, sitting up. "I tried to wake Maxie but he kept sleeping like a lump," she giggled, reaching over to poke her brother's stomach. "See? He doesn't move!"

Brooke titled her head to the side and couldn't help but laugh when she saw Max. The little boy was stretched out in the middle of the bed, his arms above his head and _Spiderman_ pajama top halfway up his stomach. She turned her attention back to Olivia and shuffled uncomfortably at the pressure on her stomach but soldiered through it.

"He sleeps like your daddy," Brooke said, ruffling Max's hair. "How's the pancakes?"

Olivia scrunched up her nose. "I dunno, mommy. Some are big and some are small. One is very flat aaaaand one is burnt. Lily yelled at Daddy."

"Sounds like Lily alright," Brooke laughed, easing herself up in bed. Olivia fell back on her knees and rolled over, crawling up to her brother with a devilish grin.

"Can I jump on him?"

"No!" Brooke shook her head, grabbing the back of Olivia's nightgown to pull her back before she gave her brother a heart attack. "Let him sleep, Liv. He had a nightmare and didn't sleep very well. Trust me."

"Oh," Olivia shrugged. "Has it been five minutes? I'm a'posed to tell you to come down in five minutes. Are you _sure_ I can't wake Max, mommy? He looks funny sleeping like that!"

"I think it's been five minutes," Brooke nodded. She got off the bed and lifted Olivia down, staring at her precious son. "How about you go tell daddy I'll be right down, okay? I'll wake Max and bring him down."

Olivia nodded and skipped out of the room, yelling down to Julian that Brooke would be down soon. Brooke shook her head in amusement and reached down to rub Max's stomach, hoping it would jolt the boy awake.

"Maxie, wake up," she whispered into his ear, brushing a stray curl out of his face. Max merely groaned and rolled over to his stomach. "Daddy made pancakes," she tried again, hoping that would entice him out of bed.

"Yucky," Max responded, his voice muffled by the pillow. "Do I have to eat them?"

"We'll see," Brooke giggled, shaking his small body when he didn't move. "Come on, baby, please? Do it for me? It _is_ my birthday after all."

Upon hearing that, Max rolled back over. "Happy birthday, momma! I almost forgot! I'm sorry!"

Brooke leaned over and blew a raspberry on his stomach. "It's okay," she winked at him, unable to hide her smile when Max grinned up at her. He looked just like his daddy sometimes. Especially when he grinned. "Are you gonna eat my nasty pancakes for me?"

"No!" Max looked at her in disgust. He pulled down his shirt when Brooke went to tickle him, rolling off the bed and onto his feet. He ran over to Brooke and tugged on her hand, dragging her out of the room. "Come on, momma! Daddy's _yummy_ pancakes are waiting for you!"

It was a birthday tradition. Each year, Julian woke the kids and they cooked her the biggest breakfast imaginable. And like a gracious mother and wife, Brooke ate every last bit of it. It didn't matter if the pancakes were runny or if the bacon was too greasy, she ate it like a champ. It was well worth it seeing the look of joy on her children's faces. As they got closer to the kitchen, Max let go of her hand and ran into the kitchen. He crashed into Julian's legs and hugged them tight.

"Morning!"

Julian smiled and scooped his only son up. "Hi, buddy. How many pancakes do you want?"

Max put a finger to his chin and stared down at the undesirable food. "I dunno, daddy. How about mommy has some first?"

When she stepped into the kitchen, Brooke was immediately greeted with Lily running at her full speed. She held onto the wall as Lily grabbed her waist and stared up at her with a dimply smile.

"Happy birthday, mommy! Happy birthday!"

"Thank you, Lil," Brooke returned the smile, ruffling Lily's ponytail. She glanced at Julian and couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with emotion as he held Max on his hip, Olivia latched onto his hand as she twirled around in circles.

It was a moment that should be frozen in time. She had three beautiful kids that loved and depended on her. A gorgeous husband who would do anything for her.

But all she wanted to was run and hide.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" Lily inquired softly, staring up at Brooke in fright. There was nothing her brother and sister hated more than seeing their mother cry. "Mommy?" she pressed on, pulling at Brooke's shirt.

"Nothing, baby," Brooke took a breath, lifting Lily onto her hip. "You guys just made me so happy." She set Lily down, bending down to her knees to hug her. Olivia toddled over and Max followed suite, forcing himself in between his sisters when Brooke reached out to hug them all. She kissed each of their foreheads and stood up straight. "I love you all."

Then she ran.

Julian quickly sprung into action. "Why don't you guys watch TV?" he suggested, shuffling the three shocked children into the living room. He was grateful when Lily took charge and led her brother and sister over to the couch.

He took the stairs two at a time, his heart dropping to his feet when he could hear his wife sobbing loudly from all the way down the hall. He took a deep breath and opened their door, trying not to break down himself when he saw Brooke's face buried into her pillow. Her body shook violently and all he wanted to was hold her tight.

However, Brooke was against it.

She immediately pulled away and backed herself into the wall, hugging her chest tight as tears dripped down her cheeks and onto the wooden floor.

"Brooke," Julian tried, reaching his hand out. "Baby, look at me."

Brooke bowed her head. "No, no."

"It will be okay," Julian cleared his throat, taking short steps over to his inconsolable wife. "You're okay."

"No, Julian," Brooke snapped. "I'm not fucking okay! I have, I have cancer." It felt so weird to say it out loud. It stung like hell to utter the one word that was going to change everything in their seemingly perfect life. She was supposed to grow old with her husband and children. This hindered any chance of it. "It won't be okay."

Julian shook his head, still holding onto hope that it was all going to be fine. It had to be. The kids needed her. _He_ needed her. "You're a fighter, Brooke Davis," he whispered brokenly, wrapping Brooke in his arms when she finally gave in. "You'll beat this. Say it with me, Brooke."

"Julian," Brooke's voice cracked, her will to fight dwindling as Julian rocked her back and forth like he did with the kids.

"You'll beat this," Julian whispered into her hair, encouraging her to do the same.

With a sharp intake of breath, Brooke took her head off Julian's shoulder and stared up at him tearfully. And with all the confidence she could muster: "I'll beat this," she whispered back.


	2. Here's to the Meantime

**AN: Wow, thank you so much for the reviews! I didn't expect to get that many. This chapter is a bit longer than the previous one. I don't want to go too quickly with this but I also don't want to drag it out so the next chapter will probably have a small time jump. Nothing major but just so it can get the ball rolling. Oh, if you're curious, I added pictures of who I had in mind as the kids if you want to check those out in my profile. :)**

**Enjoy!**

--

Chaotic was the best word to describe the Baker household Monday mornings.

Week after week, the high-tech alarm clock Julian insisted on buying would blare at 6:30, repeating its incessant shrieking until Brooke reached over to turn it off. Getting three children out of bed and out the door by 7:45 was a chore in itself. Some days, the kids cooperated and dressed themselves willingly, but most days Brooke was the one forcing dresses over the girls' head and fixing loose buttons Max's unruly shirt.

However, this morning was particularly different. Brooke was up long before the alarm was set to go off, showered and dressed in a classy blazer that buttoned right underneath her chest. The white shirt she wore underneath gave her enough cleavage to still make her husband swoon but was classy enough that her kids didn't really notice. She stared at herself in the vanity, sighing as she ran a brush through her hair. It took months to grow it out past her shoulders. Hell, she was even number three on the list of whose hair you covet the most in some fashion magazine poll.

She touched the silky locks, gnawing on her bottom lip as she wondered how long it would take before chocolate strands of hair would begin to fall out in clumps and leave her bald. Would Julian still find her attractive? God, she hoped so. Pushing the self-deprecating feelings aside, she wandered down the stairs and headed to the kitchen.

Every morning had to run smoothly because if it didn't, the rest of her day would go downhill.

Brooke quickly wiped down their marble breakfast bar and placed three plastic bowls in front of each chair; blue for Max, purple for Olivia, and pink for Lily. Redundancy was a common factor in Brooke and Julian's life but they wouldn't have it any other way. Olivia always had to be in the middle. If not, Lily would taunt Max and the little boy would end up in a fit of tears before he finished his cereal. She placed the color changing spoons next to each bowl and couldn't help but smile. They had to buy at least six different types of cereal so each kid would get one. It didn't matter to Lily if the spoon changed to pink once it touched the milk. She wouldn't dare eat with a purple spoon.

After a few minutes, she poured herself a cup of coffee, inhaling the fresh scent of hazelnut as the steam rose from the mug the kids got her for Mother's day. Julian shuffled in with a yawn, mumbling a "good morning" as he practically sipped from the glass coffee part.

"You're up early," he commented once he got his caffeine fix.

"I couldn't sleep," Brooke shrugged, her gaze casting downwards. Her stylish flats scuffed against the tile but she didn't care. Trivial things didn't matter much anymore. "Did you get the little monsters up? Or am I going to have to go throw water on them?"

Julian cracked a smile, relieved to see Brooke joking around. After he initially calmed her down last night she spent the better part of her birthday watching TV in bed. The triplets joined her but they knew something was up. "They're up. The running of the bulls should take place in about fifteen seconds or so."

Brooke giggled and turned her attention to the doorway when she heard the stomping of little feet. Olivia raced into the kitchen in a fit of tears, throwing her arms around Brooke's waist when she made eye contact with her mother.

"Mommy," she wailed, holding her arms up to be picked up. "Lily took my dress! She said I couldn't wear it because it looks better on her."

"Did she?" Brooke feigned offense, rubbing Olivia's back when she held her neck tight and felt tiny tears dripping on her shoulder. "Why did she do that?"

"Because she's mean!" Olivia screeched, looking at her father for support. "Daddy, tell Lily she can't wear my dress! Tell her _she_ looks ugly in it! She does, mommy. It's my dress! The dress you made especially for me! 'Member? My special dress!"

"Yes, I remember, Liv," Brooke said, pressing a kiss against Olivia's temple. She bounced her a little on her hip, hoping the tears would cease. Julian gave her a look that said "all yours" and rummaged through the fridge for something to eat. "Alright, little lady, let's go get your dress back."

Olivia pouted. "'Kay, mommy."

She slipped down to her feet and grabbed onto her mother's hand, pulling her along up the stairs in a huff. Brooke didn't even have time to say hello to Max as he whizzed by, the buttons on his shirt completely done wrong. Olivia was hell bent on getting her dress back instantly and nothing was going to stop that.

"Mommy's here," Olivia informed her sister with a glare, hiding behind Brooke when Lily's mouth fell open in shock. "Told you I was gonna tell!"

Lily threw the dress down on the floor and looked at her mother innocently. "Hello."

"Give Livvie her dress back," Brooke told her, deciding to remain neutral. "We can find you another dress to wear, okay? What about your pretty yellow one?"

"I wore that last week!" Lily shrieked in disgust. Olivia tiptoed over and grabbed her fallen dress, stripping down before throwing it over her body. "Don't you 'member you said I could wear that dress, mommy? I do!"

"I did not," Brooke shook her head, sitting down on the bed. "I offered to make you a dress like your sister's but what did you say?"

Lily grew coy and stared away. "Dunno."

"You said it was ugly," Olivia filled in the blanks with a proud smile.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!" Olivia stuck her tongue out. "Ask Maxie! He heard you!"

Before Lily could lunge at her sister, Brooke stepped in between the two and threw the slightly elder girl over her shoulder. "Liv, go downstairs and eat," she ordered with no room to protest, gently tossing Lily onto her bed. "Now, let's find you something to wear."

"No," Lily scowled. "I'd rather go to school naked."

"Be my guest," Brooke chuckled, plopping down next to her daughter. "I'm sure your father would love that."

Julian appeared in the doorway, confusion written all over his face. "Love what?"

"Nothing!" Lily yelled, clamping a tiny hand over her mother's mouth.

"Well, breakfast has been served in the main dining room," Julian told her with a grin. "I would get done there before the human vacuums suck down your cereal, Miss Towhead."

"Don't call me that!" Lily hissed. She hated being the only blonde in her family. Even though her parents told her it made her special, she didn't believe them. Especially when her brother and sister joked that she must have been adopted. "They better not eat my cereal!"

Julian moved out of the way as Lily came charging for the door, her tiny feet pattering against the carpeted hallway and stairs. He sauntered over to his wife with a grin, gently easing himself on top of her.

"You're in your five-year-old daughter's bed," Brooke eyed him suspiciously, closing her eyes as she felt Julian's lips against her skin. The aroma of his Axe body wash filled the room as she buried her face into his shoulder. "Julian…"

After a brief kiss to the lips, Julian pulled away and rolled over to his side. Brooke follow suite, dropping her head on his chest. He absently ran his fingers through her hair, too afraid to touch the elephant in the room. But he needed to know. He needed to be there.

"What time is your appointment?"

"1:30," Brooke mumbled, intertwining her fingers with her husband's. He kissed the top of her head, hoping that would ease her fear. "Are you going to come?"

"I'll even pick you up at work," Julian promised, his hand wrapping around Brooke's small shoulder to pull her even closer. "I just have a production meeting at eleven but other than that I cleared my schedule for the rest of the week."

"Are you sure?" Brooke asked hesitantly. "Don't they need their hot shot producer there to make sure everything runs smoothly?"

Julian lapped up the praise but shook his head. "I told them no matter what happens, you guys come first. This is way more important than making sure Alex and Josh don't rip each other's heads off before filming."

"Thank you," Brooke kissed his cheek softly. "I love you."

"I know," Julian boasted with a wide grin. "I pawned our monsters off on other people for the afternoon. Max is going to Kyle's, Olivia's going to Ava's, and Lil's going to Lily M's."

Brooke wrinkled her nose. "Lily M. annoys the crap out of me."

"Brooke, she's five."

"I don't care!" Brooke's eyes turned to saucers. "She just gets so excited about everything! I mean, really, come on. I turn on the TV she nearly has a heart attack she's so excited."

"That's because her mother is one of those people who don't believe their children should watch TV."

"That explains it," Brooke mumbled, slowly but surely untangling herself from Julian's tight grip. He stared at her with a pout that could mirror any of their three children's and expressed his disdain with an overdramatic sigh. "What?"

"Why are you leaving me?"

Leaning down, she kissed his forehead. "If we leave those three alone for more than five minutes God knows what will happen."

Julian agreed with a forced smile, watching his wife skip out of the room happily. He had no idea how she was able to pretend like everything was okay. Brooke liked to keep a strong façade for him and the kids. But he wished she knew better than to pretend around him. He was always willing to be strong, even when he didn't want to be. Their little family meant the world to him and this inconsiderate bump in the road was not going to take away anything from him. Brooke was _his_. She didn't deserve to be a wavering statistic that either succeeded or succumbed.

She was going to succeed. She had to.

--

"You're late. And you look like hell."

Brooke glared at her unwelcoming mother as she rushed into her boutique, blowing wisps of stray hairs out of her face. "Well, good morning to you, too. I'm fine, mother, how are you?"

"Peachy," Victoria deadpanned, the botoxed smile fading into oblivion as Brooke collapsed into the plush leather chair near her office. "Your friend-Kaley-whatever her name is, called."

"Haley," Brooke rolled her eyes. "You know Haley, mom. We've only been friends since the ninth grade."

"I don't keep track of those leeches," Victoria waved Brooke off. "Now, tell me. Have you reconsidered my offer?"

"I can't," Brooke shook her head, a slight tremor evident in her voice. "There's just no way I can drop everything and fly to New York. The doctor's here are fine."

"Like hell they are," Victoria snapped, her high heels clacking against the wooden floor as she stormed over to her only child. "These hicks have no idea what they're talking about! For all you know they got their MD online! Go to New York, Brooke. At least there the doctor's might be able to figure out what's wrong with you."

"Mom," Brooke tried her best to remain calm, holding herself back from leaning over and ripping her mother's hair out. "They know what's wrong with me. I have-"

"No," Victoria cut in. She refused to believe her daughter was sick. "Remember my friend Ivy Cohen?"

Brooke rolled her eyes and nodded. Ivy Cohen was one of her mother's country club friends. She was a narcissist drunk who tried suing Tree Hill Memorial Hospital for some outlandish reason.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"What if they misdiagnosed you?"

"They didn't."

Victoria was not going to back down. "What if they did? You can sue their ass and make sure none of those doctors practice medicine again!"

"I am not going to sue anybody's ass," Brooke couldn't help but mock, her gaze softening when she saw the look of concern across her mother's face. "Look, I have an appointment today, okay? We'll see how this goes and, and maybe I'll talk to Julian about this. It's just I don't want to leave the kids…I don't want to scare them."

"You haven't told them?"

"No I haven't told them," Brooke was quick to defend herself. "You and Julian are the only people I've told! I plan to keep it that way so keep your mouth shut." Her emotions were on the fritz and in order to keep them in check, she had to be the martyr. In front of Julian she could be vulnerable. In front of everybody else she had to put on the strong façade. There was no way she could break down again like she did in front of her kids yesterday.

The shrill ringing of her iPhone broke the silence and forced Victoria to drop her twenty questions and retreat towards the back. Brooke looked at the screen and felt a wave of nausea rush through her stomach when she saw it was Haley. There was a huge part of her that wanted to run crying to her best friend and tell her everything. But, it had barely been a month since Haley lost her own mother to pancreatic cancer. Dropping another bomb on her would surely send Haley over the edge. She was still so fragile. It wasn't fair to place another burden on her heavy shoulders.

She hit ignore and tapped her fingers on the desk while she waited for the voicemail icon to pop-up. When it didn't, she grew worried and hit two on her speed dial.

"Hello?"

"Hi," Brooke replied rather quickly. "You okay?"

Haley laughed. "I'm fine, Brookie. I just wanted to see if you wanted to have lunch."

"Oh, I can't," Brooke sighed, closing her eyes when she heard Haley do the same. "I'm sorry, Bub. I've just got a lot of things to catch up on. Rain check?"

"Y-yeah, sure," Haley said after a pause. "I'll call you later."

Before Brooke could even say goodbye, the line went dead. She tossed her phone aside and tilted her head back with a groan. She had been canceling on Haley a lot.

The further and further she festered in a sea of lies, the more it was going to break everyone around her.

--

Options, options, options.

That's all the doctor wanted to talk about. And after being poked and prodded for nearly two hours, all Brooke wanted to do was go home and hide. Julian held her hand as they inserted a rather long needle into the side of her left breast, slamming his eyes shut as a bloody fluid trickled down in the tube. He didn't need a MD to know that wasn't the result they were looking for.

He glanced at his beautiful wife carefully, slowly bringing the car to a halt as they reached a red light. Brooke had her cheek pressed against the cool window, her heavy eyelids desperately trying not to close for more than a minute. She was still woozy from the anesthesia and the stinging sensation still had yet to dissipate.

"You hungry, babe?" Julian asked softly, brushing his hand against her thigh.

"No," Brooke said, the strain in her voice evident. "Just tired."

"I know," he nodded, encasing her small hand in his own. She immediately held it tightly, her thumb brushing against his knuckles. "We'll be home soon. Then you can get all the rest you need."

"No," Brooke protested. "I haven't seen the kids all day…"

"They'll understand," Julian tried reassuring her. "I'll tell them you had a long day at work. I'll throw one some macaroni and cheese and get them settled."

"But they need a bath…"

"I can give them a bath."

Brooke frowned. "I like giving them baths."

"Okay, fine," Julian gave in with a chuckle. "You win."

"My mom wants me to see someone in New York," she said after a lingering pause, craning her neck to face Julian eye to eye.

Julian didn't know what to say. Instead, he nodded and accelerated the car a bit faster, taking the back roads to cut their travel time in half. Brooke didn't say anything after as she waited for his response.

"Do you want to go?" he finally asked.

"I don't know. Do you think I should go?"

"It's up to you."

"Well, I'm asking your opinion," Brooke finally snapped. She rubbed her aching temples as they throbbed violently. Her breaths were expelling softly and her heart began to race when Julian gripped the wheel tightly. "Do you want me to go?"

"It's up to you," Julian repeated again.

"I don't want to fight with you," Brooke whispered, reaching out to touch Julian's forearm lovingly. He quickly pulled away, taking a sharp turn into their driveway.

The two sat in silence, the humming of the engine the only noise dancing through their ears. Brooke crossed her arms and stared into space, feeling Julian's eyes study every inch of her body.

"You want me to go."

Julian shrugged. "They could help you."

Tears swished around in Brooke's hazel orbs and she couldn't bite them back. _No kids around_, she reminded herself as droplets splashed onto her hands. "Okay, fine," she threw her hands up in the air. "What if I go and they say the same thing?"

"What if they don't?" Julian countered, his voice getting angrier by the second.

"What if they _do_?" Brooke questioned again, her vision becoming blurry as she lost the battle with her frustration. "No matter where I go they're going to tell me this…this lump is cancerous."

"You don't know that," Julian decided to be stubborn.

"I do!" Brooke yelled tearfully. She wanted to reach over and shake some sense into her husband. If he was going to set sail down the river of denial then everything was going to come crashing down. "Julian," she sniffled, doing her best to get him to look her directly in the eye. "Baby, please. Look at me."

Julian gave in and shifted in his seat, his own eyes glimmering with tears as he looked at his wife.

"I need you," she began shakily, her fingers gripping his wrists for support. "I need you to help me through this. The kids need you to help me through this. No matter what, this is not going to go away unless _I_ do something about it."

He nodded mutely, unable to speak a word. Instead, he cradled the back of Brooke's head, gently bringing her closer to kiss her forehead.

"We're in this together," Julian whispered a comforting reminder in Brooke's ear. "Don't forget that."

He just hoped he was strong enough told hold everyone together.


	3. I Get the Feeling We Have Lost Control

**AN: Again, thank you so much for the reviews! It motivates me to update faster. I had a little trouble with this chapter but nevertheless, I hope you still enjoy it.**

--

She kept telling herself to breathe.

_In and out,_ the mantra in her head kept repeating over and over again as her gaunt reflection stared back at her. It had been nearly a week and a half since her last doctor's appointment and the wait almost made her slip into denial. If it were urgent then wouldn't the doctor get back to her right away? She had somehow managed to convince Julian everything was fine simply to get him off her back. All he did was hover around her at home; sending admonishing looks each time she lifted up one of the kids. He called her incessantly at work, repeatedly asking if the doctor got back to her yet. When she told him no, a heavy sigh would escape his lips.

The silk robe that adorned her body suddenly made her feel confined. It was falling off her shoulder, revealing the slightly tanned skin that had been sun kissed over the past few days. Spring was vastly approaching. Normally, she'd be excited about the nice weather and spending more time outside with the kids. It almost frightened her now.

March was definitely coming in like a lion; aggressive and unpredictably dangerous.

Brooke's soft fingertips gently grazed against the skin of her chest, dancing lightly over the diamond necklace she got the previous Christmas. She slowly pulled the left side of the robe over, exposing her diseased breast. It still looked normal. Now, it felt like the lump was in her throat. It was getting harder to breathe now and hell, the thought of dying from asphyxiation seemed a lot better than what she was going to have to go through.

Three fingers went around in a clockwise motion as slow as possible. She felt nothing; it was soft and squishy, nothing foreign taking up residence. Until she pressed against it the third time and felt the hard lump.

She sucked in a deep breath, fixing her robe when Julian came into the bedroom. He stared at her for a moment, studying her glossy eyes to see if she had been crying.

"You okay?" he asked, his tone laced with concern.

"Yeah," Brooke nodded with a fake smile, closing the distance between then. She wrapped her arms around Julian's waist, burying her face into his chest. "The monsters all ready for bed?"

"Sort of," Julian admitted with a shy smile. To this day, it still made Brooke melt. He looked utterly adorable when he became sheepish. "Livvie's out like a light and Lily's at her wits end trying to find an outfit for tomorrow. Good luck with that."

"Thanks," Brooke tried not to roll her eyes. "And the little man?"

"Waiting for his mommy."

"I can't keep my favorite man waiting," Brooke joked, gently slapping Julian's cheek when he looked offended. She stepped out of their bedroom and looked left and right, trying to decide where to go first.

After a brief pause, she decided to get Lily first. And upon entering the door, she almost began to curse at her look-a-like daughter when she took in the sight in front of her; clothes were strewn all over the room like a tornado just ripped through it.

"Lily Rose," Brooke's mouth fell open as Lily popped up from behind the dresser. "What in the world are you doing in here?"

Lily immediately threw her hands up in the air. "I hate my clothes!"

"Keep your voice down before you wake your sister," Brooke sighed, taking small steps into the room. She glanced at her other daughter, shaking her head in amusement as Olivia was tangled up in the bed sheets with her purple monkey clutched tightly in her arms. "What do you mean you hate your clothes?"

"I need something to wear for tomorrow," Lily informed her mother quietly as possible, dramatically falling onto her bed face first.

"Why?"

"Mommy," Lily huffed in annoyance, propping herself up on her elbows to get a better look at her mother when she stood at the foot of the bed. "Kyle wants to sit with me tomorrow!"

Brooke couldn't help but laugh. "So? You play with Kyle all the time."

"Yes, but you don't get it! Mommy, I think he's gonna ask me to be his girlfriend! He stopped sharing his toys with Alexa Phillips and I think it's my turn now! I need to look good for him, mommy. Don't you get it?"

"Oh, I do get it," Brooke agreed, pulling Lily onto her lap when she sat on the bed. "But, Lily-Pad, you're five. I highly doubt Kyle is going to care what you're wearing. Boys are dumb sometimes, honey. They don't notice anything."

Lily looked up, intrigued. "So daddy's dumb?"

"Sometimes," Brooke shrugged honestly. "But other times he's not."

"Hmm," Lily nodded in interest. "Teach me more about boys, mommy."

"No, baby," Brooke smiled, kissing the back of Lily's head. "You need to go to bed first. I promise you we'll have a long talk about boys tomorrow. Livvie too."

"Livvie thinks boys are gross."

"Livvie's smart."

"I don't think so," Lily disagreed. "That's a daddy thing to say."

Brooke giggled and tucked Lily into bed, kissing her forehead. "See? Daddy can be smart."

The little girl pouted and mumbled a good night while Brooke went to check on Olivia. She kissed her forehead and brushed the hair out of her eyes. "Night, Liv."

"Boys are icky," Olivia muttered tiredly.

"Daddy will be glad to hear that," Brooke said as she rubbed Olivia's back. "Go back to sleep, honey."

Olivia's eyes fluttered open. "Well, now I'm up!"

"Mommy, if she gets to be up then I gets to be up!" Lily argued from across the room.

"No, no," Brooke argued. She hated being double-teamed. "You're both going back to sleep, okay? Don't make me get daddy."

Lily exchanged a look with her sister. "He won't do anything."

"Yeah," Olivia agreed, kicking the covers off her. "You're silly, mommy. He lets us stay up all the time."

Brooke looked at both girls, placing her hands on her hips as she stared at them in satisfaction. They were definitely her daughters. "You two think you're slick, huh?"

"Yep!"

"Well, what will daddy say when I tell him who really broke his camera?" Brooke grinned, knowing she had won when Lily and Olivia jumped back into bed and pretended to snore loudly. "Night, girls!"

She flicked the light off on her way out and left the door half open. The walk to Max's room was short, despite being on the other side of the hallway. He was lonely sometimes and Brooke felt bad for him. It was hard on him being the only boy. And when she reached his room, she found him sprawled out on the floor reading a book.

"Hi, buddy," Brooke said softly, not wanting to interrupt him. "Whatcha reading?"

"_Finn Throws a Fit,_" Max looked up with a wide smile.

"Oh," Brooke nodded her head in interest. "I bet we could rename that _Lily Throws a Fit."_

Max giggled and turned the page quietly. "Will you read to me?"

"How about you read to me?" Brooke countered, smiling when Max jumped up and ran into her arms excitedly. She settled them both on his small twin sized bed, running her fingers through his hair as his soft voice filled her ears. "I like the sound of your voice better than mine."

"Me, too," Max agreed playfully, clearing his throat as he flipped to the first page. "Do you know what the story is about, momma?"

Brooke went to nod, having read this book eighteen times over the past month, but decided against it. Instead, she looked at Max quizzically, shrugging her shoulders.

"Okay, I'll tell you," he beamed, shutting the book for the time being. He placed it on the small empty space next to him, turning to his side to look directly at Brooke. "Well, it's about this boy named Finn and he gets upset a'cause his momma asks him if he wants peaches! Isn't that a silly thing to get upset about, momma?"

"It is," Brooke agreed with a laugh. "But look at your sisters. They get upset about the silliest things as well."

Max nodded his head seriously. "I know, momma. Girls are funny sometimes."

"They are, buddy. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"Daddy says girls are nothing but trouble," Max stated proudly, blowing the curls out of his face when they got in his eyes.

"Oh, he did?" Brooke grinned at her son.

"Yep!" Max kept going. "He also said they're always wrong but to make them happy you gotta pretend they're right."

"I see. What else did he say?"

Getting into a sitting position, Max grabbed his security blanket and clutched it tight to his chest as he stared at his mother with widened eyes. "Lots of stuff, momma. I'm not a'posed to tell you! It's for me to know and you to find out!"

"Aw, but I won't tell daddy you told me," Brooke pretended to pout, pulling Max into her arms. "Please, buddy? For your favorite mommy ever?"

"You're my only mommy," Max wrinkled his nose in confusion. "I'm not falling for it, momma! Daddy says girls are very tricky."

"Daddy says a lot of things, huh?"

"I guess so. But you say a lot of things, too!"

Brooke tilted her head in curiosity, poking Max's sides when he fell quiet. "Like what?"

"Dunno!" he mumbled as he kept his lips zipped, trying to hide the smile creeping on his face.

Without any warning, Brooke got to her feet and flipped him upside down, tickling him mercifully. Max shrieked in delight and tried to squirm out of his mother's grip.

"Do you give up?"

"No!" Max got out between laughs, reaching for Julian when he appeared in the doorway. "Daddy, help me!"

Julian grinned and walked over to his wife and son. "What's in it for me?"

"My life!" Max cried overdramatically, giving Lily a run for her money. "Please!"

"Alright, fine," Brooke gave in with a sigh, placing Max upright on the floor. He grunted up at his mother and attached himself to Julian's leg. "Daddy got you in trouble in the first place."

"What did I do?" Julian's mouth dropped open. "I was downstairs!"

"Let's tickle mommy!" Max intervened, using all his might to push Brooke on the bed.

Julian quickly joined in and Brooke was down on the bed, genuine laughter escaping her lips as Max gently pounced on her. His tiny fingers buried themselves in her sides while Julian's much larger one tickled the back of her knee. The volume of laughter gradually increased, drifting down the hall to wake up Lily and Olivia. The little Baker girls stood in their brother's doorway, watching the two boys in the house gang up on their mother. Lily pulled her sister along, letting out a giggle as she jumped on Julian and covered his eyes.

"Don't gang up on mommy!" she scolded. "It's not fair!"

"Thank you girls," Brooke replied breathlessly, playfully glaring at her husband. Olivia crawled up the bed and wedged herself between both her parents, sticking her thumb in her mouth as she watched Max crawl onto Brooke's leg. Julian settled Lily in his lap, leaning back on the headboard as his wife dropped her head on his shoulder. "I'm glad to see someone on my side!"

"You started it," Max said matter-of-factly, staring at the floor when Brooke looked at him in disbelief. "Well, you did, momma!"

With a smile, Julian ran his fingers through Lily's hair, watching as his blonde headed daughter's eyes started to close. Olivia snuggled herself into the crook of Brooke's arm, breathing softly while Max rested his head against Brooke's chest and spread his blanket across him and his sisters.

"Can we stay like this forever?" Brooke asked quietly, staring at her husband sadly.

Julian reached for her hand and squeezed it. "Of course."

--

"Wow, I was beginning to think you didn't exist anymore."

Brooke playfully rolled her eyes and plopped down on Haley's couch. "Shut up."

"So, what's new?"

"Nothing," the brunette shrugged, eyeing the hot cup of tea Haley practically forced in her hand. Haley nodded skeptically, studying her best friend intently while she seemed to be off in her own little world. "How are you doing?"

Haley inwardly groaned. It took Brooke less than a minute to ask how she was. She was taking her mother's death day by day. "I'm fine, Brooke. Just like I was yesterday."

"Sorry," Brooke mumbled, a bit offended by the coldness in Haley's voice. She liked to think she was doing Haley a favor by not telling her about the cancer. It would just be too much right now. "Forgive me for asking."

"I appreciate it," Haley sighed, reaching out for Brooke's hand. "But all we do is talk about me and I'm getting sick of it," she chuckled a little. "Let's talk about you."

"But I like talking about you, Hales," Brooke protested softly.

"If we keep talking about me I'm going to have the ego the size of planet earth."

Brooke gave her friend a half-hearted shrug and took a long sip of tea, the hot liquid burning as it trickled down her throat. It was so unsettling sometimes when she thought about what was going on. It was killing her inside that she couldn't tell Haley, her best friend, the one person who had been there through it all. Through cheating boyfriends and false pregnancies, Haley was the one person who helped her overcome everything life decided to throw her way. Their bond was incredibly strong and they knew each other inside and out.

Haley deserved to know.

But Brooke kept thinking about the look of devastation on the smaller girl's face when she showed up to her house in the middle of the night. Her pretty features were contorted in pain, tears rolling down in buckets as she clung to both her and Julian. Barely two weeks after finding out Lydia had cancer, she passed away peacefully.

"So," Brooke finally broke the silence, the quiet becoming too much to handle. "I'm sorry I haven't been around much. The, the kids are keeping me busy, you know?"

"I bet," Haley agreed, nodding her head awkwardly. "How are the monsters?"

Brooke smiled. No matter what kind of mood she was in it always altered when she got to talk about the triplets. "They're good. Lily has a boyfriend…or so she says. It's Max's friend Kyle. He was going to ask her to sit with her today in school. Maxie's going through a Superhero phase and Livvie's just Livvie. How's Boy Toy?"

"He's good. I think he went to the gym with Clay or something. I don't know, you know him. He's so quiet sometimes I didn't even hear him leave."

"You better be careful," Brooke teased good-naturedly, patting Haley's thigh.

"Shut up," Haley pushed Brooke's shoulder. Then, she got serious. "Brooke, can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Brooke responded in concern. "Everything okay?"

"I should be asking you that," Haley fired back, her tone filled mixed with anger and fear.

"Okay?"

"I know it's really stupid of me to ask, considering the source. But, but I came across something when I was online and I wanted to ask you first before-"

The ringing of Brooke's cell phone cut Haley off, prompting Brooke to smile at her sympathetically and dig through her bag for it. Haley rolled her eyes, crossing her arms against her chest as she looked at her best friend. She looked so run down and seemed so out of it that it was concerning. And possibly making her worst fear come true.

"Sorry," Brooke apologized as she finally found her phone, raising an eyebrow when she saw it was Julian. He knew not to call when she was with Haley. "Do you mind if I grab this? I'll be two minutes." When Haley nodded, she pressed the talk button, preparing herself to berate her husband for interrupting her best friend time. "Is everything okay?"

"I think you should come home."

Brooke stood up, a wave of nausea ripping through her stomach. "Why is everything okay? Are the kids okay?"

"They're fine," Julian sighed. "Just come home, Brooke. Please?"

Without another word, she hung the phone and stared at her friend sadly. "I'm so sorry, Hales. Julian needs me and…"

"It's fine," Haley mumbled with a sad smile. She got up and embraced Brooke in a tight hug. "I'm probably reading too much into it anyways."

"I'll call you later," Brooke said, squeezing the smaller girl against her chest "Bye."

--

When Brooke finally got home, she found Julian in the kitchen, pacing back and forth nervously. The house was eerily quiet, indicating something was definitely wrong with him or one of the kids. It took him a moment to register her presence, but when he did, Brooke saw his eyes almost glaze over with tears. The lump she felt in her throat the night before seemed to be back.

"What's wrong? Where are the kids?"

Julian let out a small laugh. "I sold them."

"Seriously," Brooke whined, slipping her lips into a pout. "Why did you tell me to come home? I, I was close to telling Haley," she lied, feeling bad when Julian looked apologetic. She wrapped her arms around Julian's waist and held him tight. "You're scaring me, Julian. What happened?"

"You almost told Haley?" Julian skirted around the issue, resting his chin atop Brooke's head. "The kids are with my dad. He took them to the set."

"Oh, great," Brooke rolled her eyes. "Now Lily's gonna come home looking like a baby prostitute if Alex gets a hold of her."

"No she won't," Julian refuted. "I, uh, I spoke to Millie earlier."

Brooke pulled back in confusion. "Millie? As in my assistant Millie?"

"How many other Millie's do you know?

"What did she want? Is my store okay? Oh my god, it didn't burn down did it?"

"No, no," Julian assured her, pulling at his wife's arm when she tore herself away from him and reached for the cordless phone. "You might, you might want to sit down for this, babe. Just promise me you're not going to freak out."

When Brooke didn't respond, he practically forced her into the kitchen chair and took her hand in his, looking directly in her frightened eyes. She had been through enough over the past few weeks. She didn't need any more pain.

"Tell me," Brooke whispered anxiously, her hazel eyes searching for any sign of comfort in Julian's face. His nose was scrunched up and a permanent frown had seemed to replace his normally cheery grin that still made her weak in the knees. "Julian?"

He had to just let it all out at once. Like ripping a band-aid.

"Millie called and told me someone from _US Weekly_ got a hold of her to let you know that they're running an article about you tomorrow," he trailed off, hoping that was enough information for Brooke to fill in the blanks.

But instead, she looked at him with her head tilted to the side. "Okay? I don't understand how that's bad. I always win the who wore it best!"

"I know," Julian couldn't do anything but chuckle sadly. "Somehow, someway, they found out about your cancer."

As soon as the words left his mouth, Brooke's bottom lip began to tremble. She tried to steady it by sinking her two front teeth in it, but it failed. It felt like she had been punched in the stomach. She hadn't even told her best friend, her kids, anyone really about the cancer. Now, because some reporter decided to cross the line, the whole country was going to know about her illness.

"I'm sorry." Julian was at a loss for words as he pulled Brooke off the chair and into his arms. He rocked her back and forth, trying his best to soothe her fears. She didn't say anything, just clutched the back of his shirt. "I already called the lawyer."

"It's no use," Brooke replied brokenly. "It's, it's not a lie."

"I know but they had no right, Brooke. They had no right to print this."

"Haley doesn't even know," she sniffled, trying to block out her best friend as she floated in her mind. "God, Julian. She, she was telling me something before you called about how she read something and, and I just walked out of the house without asking."

"You didn't know," Julian tried telling her. "You didn't know the tabloids were going to get a hold of it."

"Yeah, but now she's going to read it tomorrow! You, you know how she subscribes to those dumb magazines! She's going to hate me, Julian. I should have just told her."

Julian sighed and kissed Brooke's forehead. "I know, babe. But you didn't want to hurt her."

"That worked out real well," Brooke snapped, pulling away. "And the kids, Julian. What about the kids?"

"Don't worry about them," he told her.

"How can I not?" Brooke was all but sobbing now. "They go on the internet! They, they go to school with kids who might find out from their parents. Julian, they're going to find out and then they're going to hate me as well!"

"Brooke-"

"I just, I just can't handle this," she admitted in a tiny voice, reaching for her purse that was on the counter. "I'll be back later."

"Brooke, don't leave," Julian called out after her desperately, throwing his fist into wall when he heard the front door slam. After he took a minute to compose himself, he grabbed his cell phone to call the one person who could fix all of this.

Victoria.

Brooke was going to hate him for it but if that's what it took to protect her and the kids, he was going to do everything he could to keep them safe.


	4. Lying Is The Most Fun a Girl Can Have

**AN**: **Back with another update! I had it all planned out in my mind but it didn't go quite as I wanted it to. Oh, well. Just to clear some things up, Brooke and Julian's history is not the same as it is on the show. Some elements of the show are incorporated but not all of them. I hope that makes sense.**

--**  
**

When Julian first met Victoria Davis, he was intimidated. She was everything Brooke made her out to be; bold, brash, and judgmental. Their first meeting, ten years ago, was in some hole in the wall coffee shop in New York City. His future wife had caught his eye there. Almost like a scene out of a movie. From then on, he was smitten. Victoria rushed in like she owned the place, clad head to toe in designer duds. She eyed him suspiciously, refusing to shake his outstretched hand until he answered her question.

"_How much money do you make?"_

Brooke cringed. Julian laughed. Victoria glared.

He told Victoria he wanted to be a producer. Then, it was Victoria's turn to laugh. Despite her negativity, Julian wasn't going to give up on Brooke. They both bonded on parental issues, trying to one up each other and claim the title of whose father was worse. Brooke's father decided he didn't want to be a father anymore when she was barely thirteen, leaving Victoria and a staff of twelve to care for the teenager. Julian's father didn't appreciate him. His mother-God rest her soul-traveled down a tumultuous path that ultimately led to her untimely demise. He did everything in his power to save her. But, she didn't want to be saved. She wanted to let go.

Now, on the brink of thirty, Julian watched his mother-in-law pace around the room, her high heels clacking against the wooden floor. Her Prada dress was steamed to perfection, not a wrinkle in sight. Over the years Victoria had eased up on him. He did well for himself and took care of Brooke. However, she was still scary as hell sometimes.

"I don't care if you have a source. You issue a retraction tomorrow or I'll make sure you have to speak into a computer to write another article!"

Julian bit down on his bottom lip to keep from laughing. When Victoria hung up the phone, she tossed it on the couch, a breathless sigh escaping her lips. "Well?"

"They're not budging," she mumbled, almost in defeat. She picked up the magazine and stared at it in interest. "At least they used a good picture."

Though Julian did not condone cheating in any way possible, he was slightly grateful for Sandra Bullock's marital woes. Brooke was in the corner of the cover, a pixilated picture of her from an event last year with some cheesy caption across it.

_Fashionista's Cancer Ordeal. _

He sighed and tossed the magazine aside. Victoria had bought all the copies at the grocery store while he tried to clear out the ones in the mall. That's where most of Brooke's followers lurked.

"What are we going to do?" Julian asked quietly. He kept thinking about his wife and how frightened she looked when she finally returned last night. She was up before the alarm clock again, making up some excuse that she needed to be at the store for something. He knew it was her way of dealing but she was going to break down soon and it was not going to be a pretty sight. "We can't just give up, Victoria."

"Julian," Victoria eyed her only son-in-law. "Brooke should be doing this. There's only so much yelling I can do before my voice goes hoarse."

"She doesn't want to do anything."

"That's because she's stubborn," Victoria rolled her eyes. "You can thank her father for that."

_Non-existent father, _Julian thought bitterly.

"I just don't understand how it got out," Julian sighed. "Everyone around here loves Brooke. I can't see any of them leaking it out."

"You'd be surprised," Victoria laughed at Julian's naivety. "Offer someone 100,000 dollars and they'll sing like a canary."

"Well, I'm not just going to sit here," Julian snapped in defense, getting to his feet. "I have the kids to worry about. I don't want them finding out from this trash."

Victoria raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow. "They don't know?"

"No," he shook his head. Victoria shrugged a shoulder, almost surprised. "We both agreed it's not the right time to tell them. We're still waiting for the results from the last doctor's visit. Then, we'll tell them. So, I'd appreciate it if you kept your mouth shut."

"I won't say a thing," Victoria raised her hands. "Scout's honor."

Julian tried to ignore the sarcasm dripping from the elder Davis' voice and made his way over to the door. Victoria followed behind him, hot on his heels.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know," Julian admitted in frustration. "I came over here because I thought you could fix all of this but since you can't, I'll have to do it myself."

Victoria made a face. "What do you think you can do, Julian?"

"Something."

"You can't do anything," she told him defiantly. "Who cares? The important thing is that you get Brooke all the help she needs. Take her to New York."

"She doesn't want to go to New York," Julian bit out in frustration. If Victoria wanted to argue, he'd argue right back. To this day, Victoria could belittle Brooke one minute and then turn around and kiss her ass the next. "I can't force her to do something she doesn't want to do, Victoria."

"Then she's just wasting her time here. These doctor's don't know what they're talking about."

"Brooke told me that no matter where she goes, they're going to tell her the lump in her breast is cancerous. Trust me. We've heard it so many times already. You should see the look on her face," Julian began softly, watching the worry lines on Victoria's forehead make an appearance. "She doesn't cry but her eyes tear up. It's heartbreaking. She just sits there and stares into space. It's like she's in a trance. I don't want to keep seeing her like that."

Victoria swallowed, showing some sigh of emotion as Julian opened the front door. He looked at her, almost pitifully, waiting for the tears to fall.

When they didn't, he shook his head.

"She needs all the support she can get. Maybe you should stop telling her what to do and just be there for her. Be there for your grandchildren."

And with that, he left. Unaware that Victoria finally broke.

--

Millicent sighed as she looked at the paparazzi camped outside the boutique, pushing and shoving at one another when they got too close. Brooke had been holed up in her office all morning, showing no signs of coming out. She didn't seem to be too affected by the magazine article. She even joked about it. But Millie knew better. Brooke was putting up her brick wall again. When the front door opened, she turned around to see the brave soul who risked their life to swim through the sea of paparazzi desperate to stick a camera in Brooke's broken face and blind her with flashing lights. All so they could get paid and continue to make her life a living hell.

When she saw it was Haley, Millie couldn't help but sigh.

"It's like a zoo out there," Haley commented dryly, clutching her purse and peering inside to make sure nothing was stolen.

"Yeah, they've been there all morning," Millie forced a smile. Haley looked so tired and lost. "Are you here for Brooke?" she asked stupidly. "Sorry, of course you are."

"How is she?"

"Okay," Millie shrugged. "I'll go get her for you."

Haley nodded and sat down on the couch, watching Millicent's figure disappear into the back. She took a deep breath and rapped on the door, pushing it open slightly when Brooke told her to come in. The brunette was slumped over on her desk, a pen scribbling furiously over the copy of _Us Weekly_.

"Haley's here," Mille said softly. Brooke looked up, her eyes all bloodshot and puffy.

"Oh," Brooke whispered hoarsely. "You can, you can send her in."

"Are you sure? I can tell her you must have slipped out the back and left."

"No, no," Brooke shook her head. "I need to talk to her about this."

When Millie turned on her heel, Brooke spoke again. "Millie?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for keeping this from you. I should have told you…I should have told Haley. I was just…in shock."

"It's okay, Brooke," Millie replied quietly, walking over to give Brooke a tight hug. "I'm sure Haley will understand."

Brooke scoffed and straightened herself up in the plush leather office chair when she heard Haley's tiny footsteps. Her stomach dropped down to her feet when she locked eyes with her best friend, the rapid beating of her heart the only sound audible. Haley took two steps in, lingering in the doorway shyly.

"You can come in," Brooke smiled. "I don't bite."

Haley didn't respond. Instead, she reached in her purse and grabbed the magazine and slammed it on Brooke's desk. "Is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"Haley," Brooke began, reaching for Haley's hand. When she pulled away, tears immediately pooled in her hazel eyes. She was so sick of crying. "I was going to tell you, I swear."

"When?" Haley yelled, throwing her arms up in frustration. "When were you going to tell me Brooke? When you…when you were dead?"

Brooke winced and bit down on her bottom lip. She wasn't going to die. The cancer wasn't going to beat her. "No, Haley. I was just in shock."

"I bet you were."

"Please," Brooke pleaded, standing to her feet. Haley backed away; desperate to create enough distance so she wouldn't breakdown. "I was so scared and just in shock…I didn't want to tell anyone until I knew for sure. I swear, Hales, I was going to tell you."

"But you didn't," Haley's voice broke. "I had to find out from the damn internet! I, I had to read in the mail this morning my best friend has cancer."

"I know and I'm so sorry. I didn't know it was going to leak."

"Well, if it didn't, when were you going to tell me?"

"Soon…"

"Soon?" Haley's tone raised an octave higher. "How soon is soon, Brooke?"

"Soon," Brooke repeated helplessly. "I was waiting for the right time and I got so caught up with things…I'm sorry," she repeated for the umpteenth time. "Don't hate me."

"I don't hate you," Haley sighed. "I'm just, I'm just…why didn't you tell me?"

Brooke saw the hurt in Haley's eyes and hated herself all over again. Haley was the one person she didn't want to cause any more pain. That worked out well. "Because you just lost your mom and, and you had enough on your plate. I didn't want to burden you."

"Is that what you think?" Haley let out a tiny gasp. "That you'd burden me?"

"Yeah," Brooke nodded tearfully, hanging her head in shame. "I didn't want you to think you needed to be strong. I know how hard it was with your mom…"

Haley visibly winced and let out a small laugh. "Oh, I see."

"No, no," Brooke was quick to defend herself when she realized what she said. "I didn't mean it like that, Haley. I just meant it would be too much for you to handle."

"Too much?"

Brooke kept digging the hole deeper. "Haley, please. I'm sorry, okay? What more do you want?"

"For you to be okay," Haley sniffled. "Are you starting chemo?"

"I don't know what I'm doing," Brooke admitted truthfully. "I haven't heard back from the doctor yet. I'm taking it day by day."

"Brooke you have to fight!" Haley yelled. "You, you have to do everything you can to beat this. You can't just sit around and do nothing!"

"I'm not doing nothing!" Brooke yelled back, her eyes widening. "Haley, I have three kids to think about. I have to do what's best for them."

"Sure," Haley replied sarcastically. "So this is it then? You tell me that you have cancer and then in two weeks you're going to die, right?"

"Haley, stop," Brooke snapped, glaring at her best friend as she broke down. "Don't you dare say things like that! I'm going to do everything in my power to fight." Haley didn't respond. She backed herself into the corner and brushed away her tears, too afraid to look up at Brooke's reaction. "I'm not your mother, Haley."

Brooke knew things were about to explode.

"What?"

"You heard me," Brooke shook her head angrily.

"Brooke," Haley swallowed. "Don't do this."

"Don't do what?" the brunette feigned innocence. "Don't come barging into my office yelling at me! I was trying to protect you, Haley. But, fine. I'm a bitch for keeping this from you, aren't I?"

"Brooke, stop."

"No, Hales," Brooke bit back her tears. "I'm not the one you're really mad it."

"Shut up," Haley tried to fight back, but it was no use, "You don't know what you're talking about, Brooke. I am mad at _you_."

"Fine," Brooke shrugged. "At least I'm going to fight."

She had no idea what came over her. The lack of sleep and utter annoyance and irritation from the media had finally gotten to her. And of course, she took it out on the wrong person. Haley's tears pooled down her face but she remained calm. She was far too upset to fight back and tear Brooke down for all the pain her mother caused her.

"Good luck," Haley finally said after a long silence. "I hope you beat this."

Brooke slammed her hand on the desk and cursed as loudly as possible when Haley left. She glanced at the picture of her three kids near the computer. How was she going to tell them? She then grabbed the picture of her and Haley and threw it in her desk drawer, too angry to even look at it. She knew she had gone way too far but she couldn't help it. Haley couldn't see that she was trying to protect her, trying to keep the pain from her.

Hell, she needed Haley more than anything right now. But since that wasn't possible, she was just going to have to depend on Julian. He was her rock.

"Brooke?" Millicent asked quietly as she appeared in the doorway.

"What?" Brooke snapped at her assistant. "What do you want?"

"The school called," Millicent cleared her throat, trying to hide the tremor in her voice. Brooke could be deathly frightening when she was angry. "Max is hurt."

--

Julian held Brooke tight as they met in the hallway, smoothing down her hair when he felt her wet tears against his shoulder.

"He's okay, Brooke," he promised, wiping the tears away with the pad of his thumb. "He just got into a little scuffle with a fourth grader."

"A fourth grader?" Brooke's mouth dropped open in shock. "Why is a nine-year-old picking on my baby?"

"I don't know," Julian sighed, trying to calm his wife down. She looked so tired that it was practically killing him. Her eyes were no longer vibrant. They were lost and dull, no spark whatsoever. It was almost painful to look at her. "Just relax, babe. Take a deep breath."

Brooke did as she was told, breathing in Julian's comforting scent. "I'm sorry. I've had a horrible day and this is just icing on the cake."

"But he's okay," Julian reiterated, kissing the top of Brooke's head. "Are you okay?"

"No, Julian, I'm not," Brooke huffed in annoyance. "This isn't the time or place to get into it," she sighed, heading to the door to the Principal's office. "What did they fight about?"

"I don't know," Julian shrugged, opening the door for Brooke.

Brooke nearly burst into tears when she saw Max sitting on one of the chairs, his little feet dangling above the floor, an icepack pressed firmly to his right eye.

"Oh, baby, what happened?" Brooke dropped to her knees, grabbing Max's hand. "Did one of the mean older kids hurt you?"

Max scowled in embarrassment as his mother tried to examine his bruise. "I'm fine, momma."

"You are certainly not fine," Brooke almost burst into tears, lifting Max into her arms. "I don't understand why someone would want to fight you! What happened?"

"Stuff," Max sighed against her shoulder. "He was being mean to Livvie, momma."

"What?" Brooke asked, wondering if she heard right. She shifted Max to her hip, watching as Julian checked in with the old secretary. "He was being mean to Livvie?"

"Yeah," Max nodded in confirmation. "Daddy says that I'm still her big brother even though we're only five minutes apart. Lily wasn't doing anything so, so I just said to leave her alone!"

Brooke still couldn't understand how someone would want to hurt her sweet, innocent, little boy. Max was too shy for his own good sometimes and wouldn't harm a fly.

"Then I pushed him when he laughed at me," Max finished quietly. "But then he hit me."

"Oh, baby, I'm sorry," Brooke kissed his temple again, patting his back. "I'm proud of you, buddy. For sticking up for Olivia."

Max tilted his head to the side. "Really? So you're not mad?"

"No," Brooke smiled. "I don't think daddy will be either."

She sat Max back down on the chair and ruffled his hair, reaching for Julian's outstretched hand when he called her over. Max settled back down on the chair and held the ice pack against his eye all the while trying to stop the tears.

He hated lying to his mother.

"How about you go in and talk to the Principal," Brooke said. "I don't want to leave him."

Julian glanced back at his son, then back at his wife. "Alright, fine. Only because the last time we were in her office you told her to fuck off."

"She deserved it," Brooke mumbled matter-of-factly, kissing Julian's cheek. "We'll be out in the hall waiting for you." She giggled as Julian mock saluted, disappearing into the corner office when they called his name. Brooke went back over to Max and lifted him off the chair, clasping his tiny hand in her own. "Come on, little man."

"Where are we going?" Max asked curiously as he followed his mother out of the spacious office and into the deserted hallway. "Is daddy coming with us?"

"He is," Brooke nodded. "But sitting in the Principal's office gives me the creeps. It reminds me too much of high school."

Max smiled and tugged on his mother's hand, studying her face when she looked down at him. "Momma?" he questioned softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"What, baby?" Brooke asked, a tinge of concern in her voice when Max looked away frantically when they locked eyes again. "You okay?"

"Are you sick?" Max finally asked after a long pause.

Brooke tried to keep her composure but couldn't help but sigh. "Sick with that?"

"I dunno," Max whimpered as Brooke bent down to his level. "Cancer."

"Why, why would you ask that?" Brooke's voice broke, brushing the hair out of Max's eyes when he looked down at his feet. "Maxie, what happened?"

"Ethan said you had cancer," Max said, swiping at his tears. "I, I didn't push him 'cause he was being mean to Livvie. I pushed him because he said you were going to die!"

"No, no, no," Brooke was quick to correct her son, lifting him up and holding him tight. Max sobbed against her shoulder and it broke her heart in two. "Where did he hear that?"

"It was in a magazine," the little boy continued to cry. "He's lying! Right? Right, momma?"

This day kept getting worse and worse.

"I'm not going anywhere," Brooke promised, kissing Max's forehead. "Okay?" She wasn't really lying per say. "Okay?" she pressed on when he didn't respond.

"So, the magazine lied?"

"Yeah, buddy. The magazine lied," Brooke finally gave in. Even when she looked into Max's sparkling blue eyes she just couldn't break his heart. Not now, not ever.

"Why?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "To make money."

"I'm sorry they were mean to you," Max whispered against her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, too."

Max looked up at his mother in confusion. "Why are you sorry, momma?"

Brooke looked down at him with a watery smile. "For things you don't understand."

And for all the pain she was about to cause him.


End file.
